Original
Text
Lord Dexter relates how he was created Lord by the People,
announces his intention of forming a Museum of great men,
that shall be the wonder of the world, and shall confound
his enemies.
IME
the first Lord in the younited States of A mericary Now of
Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help
it and so Let it goue Now as I must be Lord there will foller
many more Lords pretty soune for it dont hurt A Cat Nor the
mouse Nor the son Nor the water Nor the Eare then goue on
all is Easey Now bons broaken all is well all in Love Now
I be gin to Lay the corner ston and the kee ston with grat
Remembrence of my father Jorge Washington the grate herow
17 sentreys past before we found so good a father to his shildren
and Now gone to Rest1
Now to shoue my Love to my father and grate Caricters I will
shoue the world one of the grate Wonders of the world in 15
months if now man mourders me in Dors or out Dors such A mouserum
on Earth will annonce O Lord thou knowest to be troue fourder
hear me good Lord I am A goueing to Let or shildren know Now
to see good Lord what has bin in the world grat wase back
to owr forefathers Not old plimeth but stop to Addom &
Eave to shoue 45 figures2
two Leged and fore Leged because we Cant Doue weel with our
four Leged in the first plase they are our foude in the Next
plase to make out Dexters mouseum I want 4 Lions to defend
thous grat and mistry men from East to wist from North to
South which Now are at the plases Rased the Lam is not Readey
in short meater if agreabel I form a good and peasabel government
on my Land in Newburyport Compleat I taks 3 presedents hamsher
govenor all to Noue york and the grate mister John Jay is
one, that maks 2 in that state the king of grat britton mister
pitt Roufes kins Cros over to france Loues the 16 and then
the grate bonnepartey the grate and their segnetoure Crow
biddey3
--- I
Command pease and the gratest brotherly love and not fade
be Linked to gether with that best of troue love so as to
govern all nasions on the fass of the gloub not to tiranize
over them but to put them to order if any Despout shall A
Rise as to boundreys or Any maturs of Importance it is Left
france and grat britton and Amacarey to be setteled A Congress4
to be allways in france all Despouts is to be thare settled
and this may be Dun this will balless power and then all wars
Dun A way there-fore I have the Lam to Lay Dow with the Lion
Now this may be dun if thos three powers would A geray to
Lay what is called Devel one side and Not Carry the gentelman
pack hors Any longer but shake him of as dust on your feet
and Laff at him5
there is grate noise Aboute a toue Leged Creter he says I
am going to set sade black Divel there stop he would scare
the womans so there would be No youse for the bilding. I should
have to erect sum Noue won Now I stop hear I puts the Devil
Long with the bull for he is a bulling 2 Leged Annemal stop
put him one side Near Soloman Looking with Soloman to Ladey
venus Now stop wind up there is grat ods in froute I will
Let you know the sekret houe you may see the Devel stand on
your head before a Loucking glass and take a bibel to your
bousum fast 40 owers and look in the loucking glass, there
is no Devel if you dont see the ould fellow but I affirm you
will see that old Devel
Unto you all mankind Com to my hous to mock and sneare whi
ye Dont you Lafe be fore hevvn or I meane your betters think
the heir power Dont know thorts and Axsions Now I will tell
you good and bad it is not pelite to Com to see what the bare
walls keep on my ground if you are gentel men you would stay
Away when all is Dun in marble Expect to goue out my selfe
to Help it thous grat men will send on there Likeness all
over the younited States I wish all the printers would send
on their Likenesses in 40 days to Timothy Dexter I mean I
want the printers to give Notis if pleases to inform by printen
in the Nouspapers for the good of the holl of mankind ---
I wans to make my Enemys grin in time Lik A Cat over A hot
pudding and goue Away and hang there heads Doun Like a Dogg
bin After sheep gilty stop see I am Afrade I Rite toue hash
my peopel Complane of backker spittel maks work to Cleane
it up --- in the women skouls A bout it spit in ther handkershif
or not spit A tall I must say sumthing or I should say Nothing
there fore make sum Noise in the world when I git so ouely6
to Nash my goms and griying for water and that is salt water
when brot A young Devel to bring it and A Scoyer to wate and
tend on gentlemen A black Suier his breth Smelt wos than bram
stone by far but Let the Devel goue in to Darknes and take
his due to Descare mankind for A Littel while this cloven
foot is seen by sum but the trap will over hall the Devel
in tim, I pittey this poore black man I thinc his master wants
purging A Littel to har ber mr Devel A most but I did Not
say Let him Run A way good Nit mr Devel Cary the sword and
money with you7
take John mekel8
Jentel man good Nit
T
DEXTER
Lord
Dexter relates how he came to Fortune, by Speculations in
Warming-Pans, Whalebone, Bibles, and Government Securities.
How
Did Dexter Make His Money ye says bying whale bone for staing
for ships in grosing three houndred & 40 tons --- bort
all in boston salum and all in Noue york under Cover oppenly
I told them for my ships they all laffed so I had at my oan
pris I had four Counning men for Rounners thay found the horne
as I told them to act the fool I was full of Cash I had nine
tun of silver9
on hand at that time --- all that time the Creaters more or
less laffing it spread very fast here is the Rub --- in fifty
days they smelt A Rat --- found where it was gone to Nouebry
Port --- spekkelators swarmed like hell houns --- to be short
with it I made seventey five per sent --- one tun and halfe
of silver on hand and over --- one more spect --- Drole a
Nuf --- I Dreamed of worming pans three nites that thay would
doue in the west inges I got no more than fortey two thousand
--- put them in nine vessels for difrent ports that tuck good
hold I cleared sevinty nine per sent the pans thay made yous
of them for Coucking --- very good masser for Coukey --- blessed
good in Deade missey got nise handel Now burn my fase the
best thing I Ever see in borne days10
I found I was very luckky in spekkelation. I Dreamed that
the good book was Run Down in this countrey nine years gone
so low as halfe prise and Dull at that --- the bibel I means
I had the Ready Cash by holl sale I bort twelve per sent under
halfe prise thay Cost fortey one sents Each bibbel --- twenty
one thousand --- I put them into twentey one vessels for the
west inges and sent a text that all of them must have one
bibel in every familey or if not thay would goue to hell ---
and if thay had Dun wiked flie to the bibel and on thare Neas
and kiss the bibel three times and look up to heaven annest
for forgivnes my Captteins all had Compleat order --- here
Coms the good luck I made one hundred per sent & littel
over then I found I had made money anuf I hant speckalated
sence old time by government secourities I made or cleared
forty seven thousands Dolors --- that is the old afare Now
I toald the all the sekrett Now be still let me A lone Dont
wonder Noe more houe I got my money boaz.11
Lord
Dexter informs the whole World of the improvements made and
contemplated about his Palace: describes his Tomb, etc.
To
mankind at Large the time is Com at Last the grat day of Regoising
what is that whye I will tell you thous three kings is Rased
Rased you meane shoued know Rased on the first Royel Arch
in the worid olmost Not quite but very hiw up upon thay are
good mark to be scene so the womans Lik to see the frount
and all peopel Loves to see them as the quakers will Com and
peape slyly and say houe the doue frind father Jorge washeton
is the senter king Addoms at the Rite hand the prssent king
at the Left hand father gorge with his hat on the other hats
of the middel king with his sword king Addoms with his Cane
in a grand poster Adtetoude turning his fass to wards the
first king as if thay was on sum politicks king our present
king12
he is stands hearng being yonger and very deafe in short being
one grat felosfer Looks well East & west and North &
south deafe & very deafe the god of Nater has dun very
much for our present king and all our former ones thay are
all good I want them to Live for Ever and I beleave thay will
it is hard work to be A king --- I say it is harder than tilling
the ground I know it is for I find it is hard work to be A
Lord I dont desier the sound but to pleas the peopel at Large
Let it gou to brak the way it dus for A sort ment to help
a good Lafe to Cour the sick spleney goutey dull frames Lik
my selfe with the goute and so on make merry a Chealy Christon
is for me only to be onnest No matter what thay worshep son
monne or stars or there wife or miss if onnest Live for Ever
money wont gitt thous figers so fast as I wish I have senc
to Leg horn for many mr bourr is one Amonks many others I
sent in the grand Crecham thous 3 kings Are plane white Leead
colow at present the Royal Arch & figers cost 39 pounds
wate silver the hiest Councaton order in the world so it is
sade by the knowing ones13
I have only 4 Lions & 1 Lam up the spread Eagel has bin
up 3 years upon the Coupalay I have 13 billors front in strat
Row for 13 states when we begun 3 in Rear 15 foot hie 4 more
on the grass see 2 the same hath at the Rite of the grand
Arch 2 at the left wing 15 foot hie the Arch 17 foot hie the
my hous is 3 sorey upwards of 290 feet Round the hous Nater
has formed the ground Eaquel to a Solomun the onerbel Jonathan
Jackson one of the first in this Country for tast borne a
grat man by Nater then the best of Lurning what sot me fored
for my plan having so gran spot the hool of the word Cant
Excead this to thous that dont know would think I was Like
halfe the world a Lier I have traveled good deale but old
steady men sayeth it is the first that it is the first best
in this Contry & others Contrey I tell you this the trouth
that None of you all great men needent be A frunted at my
preseadens & I spare Now Cost in the work I have the tempel
of Reason in my garding 3 years past with a toume under it
on the Eage of the grass see it cost 98 gineys besids the
Coffen panted whit in side & out side touched with green
Nobel trimings uncommon Lock so I can tak the kee in side
and have fier works in the toume pipes & tobacker &
A speaking trumpet and a bibel to read & sum good songs.
What is a presedent answer A king bonne partey the grat has
as much power as A king & ort to have it & it is a
massey he has for the good of mankind he has as much power
as Any king for grat ways back there must be A head sum whare
or the peopel is Lost Like wild gees when they Lous the head
gander two Leged wants A head if fore Leged both & 2 Leged
fouls the Name of presedent is to please the peopel at Large
the sound souts best Now in the south give way the North the
North give way to the south or by & by you will brake
what falers be wise or keep the Links to gether and if you
cant A gree Consoalated to a kingly power for you must keep
to gether at the wost hear it labers ye les see there is so
many men wants be the all offesers & Now sogers poor king
Every day14 wants A bone sum more than other the king cant Live without
the feald wee have had our turne grat good father Addoms turne
& turne A bout Rest Easey you all will be pleased with
the present king give time all did I say Now but the magor
part fore fifths at least
TIMOTHY
DEXTER
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Translated
Text
Lord
Dexter relates how he was created Lord by the People, announces
his intention of forming a Museum of great men, that shall
be the wonder of the world, and shall confound his enemies.
I'm
the first Lord in the United States of America, now of Newburyport.
It is the voice of the people and I can't Help it and so Let
it go. Now as I must be Lord (and) there will follow many
more Lords pretty soon, for it don't (doesn't) hurt a cat
nor the mouse, nor the sun, nor the water, nor the air. Then
go on, all is easy --- no bones broken. All is well, all in
Love. Now I begin to lay the cornerstone and the keystone
with great remembrance of my father, George Washington, the
great hero. Seventeen (17) centuries (have) passed before
we found so good a father to his children, and now gone to
rest.1
Now to show my love to my father and great characters I will
show the world one of the great wonders of the world --- in
15 months, if no man murders me (indoors or outdoors). Such
a museum on Earth (I) will announce --- oh, Lord, Thou knowest
to be true. Further, hear me good Lord. I am (a)going to let
our children know now, to see, good Lord, what has been in
the world (a) great way back to our forefathers. [Not old
Plymouth (Colony, Massachusetts) but stop to Adam & Eve.]
To show 45 figures2
[two-legged and four-legged because we can't do well without
four-legged: in the first place, they are our food).]
In the next place, to make out Dexter's museum, I want 4 lions
to defend those great and mystery men from East to West, from
North to South which now are in place, raised. (The lamb is
not ready.) In short meter, if agreeable, I form a good and
peaceable government on my land in Newburyport, complete.
I take 3 presidents, (the New) Hampshire Governor all (the
way) to New York, and the great Mister John Jay is one, that
makes 2 in that state.
The king of Great Britain, Mister (William) Pitt, Rufus King.
Cross over to France: Louis XVI and then the great Bonaparte
the Great and their signature crow biddy3
--- I command Peace and the greatest brotherly love --- and
not fade. Be linked together with that best of true love so
as to govern all nations on the face of the globe. Not to
tyrannize over them, but to put them to order if any dispute
shall arise as to boundaries or any matters of importance,
it is left France and Great Britain and America to be settled.
A Congress4
to be always in France --- all disputes are to be settled
there and this may be done. This will balance power and then
all wars done away. (Therefore, I have the lamb to lay down
with the lion.) Now this may be done if those three powers
would agree to lay what is called (the) Devil (to) one side
and not carry the gentleman pack horse any longer, but shake
him off as dust on your feet and laugh at him.5
There is great noise about a two-legged creature. He says
I am going to set said black Devil there, stop (in that) he
would scare the women, so there would be no use for the building.
I should have to erect some new one (figure). Now I stop,
hear, I put the Devil along with the bull, for he is a bulling
2-legged animal. Stop, put him (to) one side near Solomon,
looking with Solomon to Lady Venus. Now stop, wind up there
is great odds in front: I will let you know the secret how
you may see the Devil: Stand on your head before a looking
glass and take a Bible to your bosom, fast 40 hours and look
in the looking glass. There is no Devil if you don't see the
old fellow, but I affirm you will see that old Devil.
Unto
you all mankind, come to my house to mock and sneer, why (do)
you? Don't you laugh before Heaven or I mean your betters.
Think the Higher Powers don't know thoughts and actions? Now
I will tell you, good and bad, it is not polite to come to
see what (is on) the bare walls (or what I) keep on my ground.
If you are gentlemen, you would stay away (until) when it
all is done in marble. Expect to go out myself to help it.
Those great men will send on their likeness all over the United
States. I wish all the printers would send on their likenesses
in 40 days to Timothy Dexter. I mean, I want the printers
to give notice if (it) pleases, to inform by printing in the
newspapers for the good of the whole of mankind ---
I
want to make my enemies (to) grin in time like a cat over
a hot pudding and go away and hang their heads down like a
dog (that has) been after sheep, guilty. Stop, see I am afraid
I write to harshly. My people complain of tobacco spittle
(which) makes work to clean it up --- In the women, scowls
about it, spit in their handkerchief (or not spit at all).
I must say something, or I should say nothing --- therefore
make some noise in the world. When I get so oily6
to gnash my gums and crying for water and that is salt water
when brought: A young Devil to bring it and a Squire to wait
and tend on gentlemen. A black Squire his breath smelt worse
than brimstone by far, but let the Devil go into the Darkness
and take his due to scare mankind for a little while. This
cloven foot is seen by some but the trap which will overhaul
the Devil in time. I pity this poor black man. I think his
master wants purging a little.
To harbor Mr. Devil almost, but I did not say let him run
away good night, Mr. Devil Cary, the sword and money with
you7
--- take John, Michael8
--- Gentlemen, good night.
T
DEXTER
Lord
Dexter relates how he came to Fortune, by Speculations in
Warming-Pans, Whalebone, Bibles, and Government Securities.
"How
did Dexter make his money?" you say. (By) buying whale
bone for staying for ships, in grossing three hundred &
40 tons --- bought all in Boston, Salem and all in New York
undercover. Openly, I told them for my ships. They all laughed,
so I had at my own price. I had four cunning men for runners.
They found the horn (of plenty) as I told them to act the
fool. I was full of cash: I had nine ton of silver9
on hand at that time --- All that time the Creatures more
or less laughing. It spread very fast (and) here is the rub:
In fifty days they smelt a rat. (They) found where it was
gone (to Newburyport) --- speculators swarmed like hell hounds
--- To be short with it, I made seventy five percent --- one
ton and half of silver on hand and over --- I won more respect
--- Droll enough --- I
Dreamed of warming pans (for) three nights: that they would
do (well) in the West Indies. I got no more than forty two
thousand --- put them in nine vessels (bound) for different
ports. That took a good hold (and) I cleared seventy nine
percent. The pans, they made use of them for cooking --- ["Very
good, Masser, for Coukey --- blessed good indeed, Missy, got
nice handle. No burn my face, the best thing I ever see in
born days."]10
I found I was very lucky in speculation. I dreamed that the
Good Book was run down in this country, (for) nine years (the
price had) gone so low as half price [and dull (slow sales)
at that --- the Bible, I mean.] I had the ready cash by wholesale.
I bought twelve percent under half price. (They cost forty
one cents (for) each Bible --- Twenty-one thousand --- I put
them into twenty-one vessels (bound) for the West Indies and
sent a text that all of them must have one Bible in every
family or, if not, they would go to Hell --- and if they had
done wicked (then) fly to the Bible and on their knees and
kiss the Bible three times and look up to Heaven and ask for
forgiveness. My Captains all had the complete order --- Here
comes the good luck: I made one hundred percent & a little
over. Then I found I had made money enough I haven't speculated
since the old times (with) buying government securities. I
made or cleared forty-seven thousand dollars --- that is the
old affair. Now I told the all the secret. Now be still. Let
me alone. Don't wonder no (any)more how I got my money. Boaz.11
Lord
Dexter informs the whole World of the improvements made and
contemplated about his Palace: describes his Tomb, etc.
To
mankind at large: The time has come. At last, the great day
of rejoicing. What is that? Why I will tell you. Those three
kings (are) raised. Raised, you mean, raised on the first
Royal Arch in the world. (Almost, not quite.) But very high
up upon (it). They are good marks to be seen so the women
like to see the front and all people love to see them. As
the Quakers will come and peep slyly and say, "How thee
do, friend." Father George Washington is the center king;
Adams at the right hand; the present king at the left hand.
Father George, with his hat on, the other hats of the middle
king with his sword. King Adams, with his cane in a grand
posture and attitude, turning his face towards the first king
as if they were on some politics. King (our present king)12
he stands hearing (being younger and very deaf). In short,
being one great philosopher: Looks well, East & West and
North & south. Deaf & very deaf. The god of Nature
has done very much for our present king and all our former
ones. They are all good. I want them to live forever and I
believe they will. It is hard work to be a king --- I say
it is harder than tilling the ground. I know it is, for I
find it is hard work to be a Lord. I don't desire the sound,
but to please the people at large. Let it go to break the
way. It does for assortment. To help a good laugh to cure
the sick, spleeny, gouty dull frames like myself (with the
gout) and so on. (To) make merry a chilly Christian is for
me (only to be honest). No matter what they worship: the sun,
moon or stars --- or their wife or "miss." If honest
(they) live forever. Money
won't get those figures as fast as I wish. I have sent to
Leghorn
(Tuscany, Italy) for many. Mr. (Aaron) Burr is one amongst
many others I set in the grand Crecham.
[Khoresm
palaces w/monuments in multi-figured scenes]
Those 3 kings are plain white lead color at present. The Royal
Arch & figures cost 39 pounds weight silver. The highest
Councaton (Krakataun
as in highest volcano) order in the world, so it is said
by the Knowing Ones.13
I have only 4 lions & 1 lamb. Up (above), the spread eagle
has been up 3 years upon the cupola. I have 13 pillars (in)
front in straight rows (for 13 states). When we began, 3 (were)
in (the) rear, 15 foot height; 4 more on the grass. See 2
the same (identically) have at the right of the grand Arch;
2 at the left wing, 15 foot high. The Arch (is) 17 foot high.
My house is 3 stories upwards of 290 feet around the house.
Nature has formed the ground equal to Solomon's. The honorable
Jonathan Jackson (one of the first in this country for taste)
was borne a great man by Nature --- then (had) the best of
learning. What
sought me forward for my plan (was) having so grand a spot
(in) the whole of the world. Can't exceed this. To those that
don't know, (they) would think I was like half the world:
a liar. I have traveled a good deal, but old steady men say
that it is the first, that it is the first, best in this country
& other countries. I tell you this is the truth that none
of you all great men needn't be affronted at my presidents&
I spare no cost in the work. I have the Temple of Reason in
my garden (since) 3 years past, with a tomb under it, on the
edge of the grass. See, it cost 98 guineas, besides the coffin
(which is painted white inside & outside, then touched
with green and noble trimmings (and an) uncommon lock, so
I can take the key inside and have fireworks in the tomb,
pipes & tobacco & a speaking trumpet and a Bible to
read & sum good songs.
What
is a president? Answer: a king. Bonaparte the Great has as
much power as a king & ought to have it. And it is a mercy
he has, for the good of mankind. He has as much power as any
king for (since) a great ways back (in history). There must
be a head some where or the people are lost like wild geese
when they lose the head gander. Two-legged (creatures) want
a head, if four-legged both & 2-legged fools. The name
of president is to please the people at large (for) the sound
suits best. Now in the South, give way the North (and) the
North give way to the South or by & by you will break.
What follows? Be wise or keep the Links together and if you
can't, agree consolidated to a kingly power, for you must
keep together. At the worst hear it labors you less. See there
are so many men (who) want (to) be the all officers &
now soldiers. The poor king! Every dog14
wants a bone. (Some more than others.) The king can't live
without the field/fealty. We have had our turn. Great, good
father Adams turn & turn about. Rest easy, (for) you all
will be pleased with the present king. Give (it) time. All
did, I say now, but the major part of four-fifths, at least.
TIMOTHY
DEXTER
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